The Push: Feeling Stuck

No one lives in pure bliss.

I believe that we all have the desire for something more, something fulfilling, something that doesn’t feel like work.

When we aren’t honoring that desire, we often feel stuck.  I feel stuck.

I have a good life.  I am not complaining about my life overall.  I have a good partner, good family, good friends, a good job where I do good work and I have a lot of hobbies that I truly enjoy.  I do not have balance.

Each week I tell myself and my partner and my family that I will not work more than I am paid.  Each week, I work nearly half again more.  I am not taking care of myself in the ways I need to be healthy, just a kind of piecemeal, half-assed attempt at everything.  I neglect the people and things in my life that are truly important to me for my job and my duty to my job.  I do not believe I am alone in my frustration.

This aspect of the blog, which I am electing to call The Push, will focus on motivation because nothing changes if nothing changes and something has got to give.  But what is motivation?

In a Psychology Today article I perused on the subject by Jim Taylor, PhD., it notes that motivation is defined in the following ways:

• An internal or external drive that prompts a person to action;
• The ability to initiate and persist toward a chosen objective;
• Putting 100% of your time, effort, energy, and focus into your goal attainment;
• Being able to pursue change in the face of obstacles, boredom, fatigue, stress, and the desire to do other things;
• The determination to resist ingrained and unhealthy patterns and habits;
• Doing everything you can to make the changes you want in your life.

If I look at this list, I see where my barriers to change with regard to motivation lie.  At the end of a 10 hour day of helping people and managing crisis, it is the fatigue and stress of the day that are more a barrier than the time. When I come home, I focus on eating, spending time with my partner and going to bed.  When I wake up, I focus on getting out the door so that I can get to work before anyone else and have quiet time to actually get work done without interruption.

So this is what stuck looks like:  desiring change and working toward it while not having the supports in the work environment to facilitate that change.  If I work less, people don’t get the care they need and if I work as I am, I don’t get the care I need and neglect my family.

I think I need to find a way to become okay with being selfish.

What does your stuck look like?  What is your barrier to motivation?