A New Year’s New Beginning: Journal 52

Hey there and Happy New Year!  I was scrolling through my email this morning, looking for inspiration and found an email from Journal 52.  Now, as some may recall, I started this art and creativity journey roughly one year ago and it has been a hell of a productive year, but the thing I meant to do and fell short on was weekly art journaling inspired by Journal 52.

I think I have about 8 weeks worth of entries and the rest written on an index card that serves as the world’s most overwhelming to do list.  Meh.

So I’m putting up gratitude for what I have accomplished in this area of my life this year, taking the lesson learned on the barriers I put up for myself and wiping away the to do list left from last years project.

Gratitude for the Accomplishments:

This year I did more than I ever thought I could and still worked ungodly hours at my day job and accomplished a lot there too!

• Got connected with a group of super-supportive creatives through The Arcanum and had more fun traveling and socializing that I ever expected! Thanks to House Lightbender!
• Learned that Thai food is a treasure and now I must have it weekly (Thank you Mitch!).
• Had fun with mud while making Bozzo/Mud Art.
• Started a blog in late July and have since put up 79 posts and have gotten over 1,000 views.
• Sold my first artwork!
• Learned how to use Twitter and Instagram and started attempting to post regularly (still a work in progress!)
• Learned to sketch and use watercolor and took my first course to help improve that skill.
• Made my first acrylic abstract that is good enough that I like it!
• Was given my first real camera and have my own real equipment!

And I don’t forget for a second to thank my partner A.D. for all of this as he is the one who got me off my a$& and doing something better than binge-watching television!

Lessons Learned:

I learned about my own motivations and barriers to posting success and figured this was important to add as self-reflection and awareness are key to personal growth and overall wellness.  You have to take time to learn about yourself!

1. Barrier: I’m inherently lazy after 4 pm.  If I’ve had a long day at work, the couch and escape of TV are my go-to comfort.  It’s nice not to think or talk or move.  Hacks:
   • Write in the morning or on the weekends for posting through the week to the blog.
   • Editorial Calendar:  I write in ideas for blogs as I have them, so when my brain is broken after 4 pm and I guilt myself into working on something, I can remember what I want to work on!
   • Guilt myself into doing something for 15 minutes.
   • Remind myself that 7:30 is not an adult’s bedtime!
2. Barrier:  When I feel overwhelmed, I get a case of the ‘f^@&-its’ and ignore something until I either have to do it or it disappears.  Hacks:
   • If I have to do it, I set a timer for 15 minutes and just get started.  I don’t have to finish.
   • If I don’t have to do it (like the incomplete Journal 52 prompts from 2015), I take it off my list.  Why am I worrying myself with something I don’t have to do?
3. Barrier:  Not feeling good enough.  This impacts both my creative work and my real work because it is my own inner voice of discouragement and the evil of perfectionism.  Hacks:
   • Channel Stuart Smalley:  ‘I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone-it, people like me!’  If you don’t get the reference, seriously watch the linked YouTube video, it’s good fun!
   • Remind myself that the artists I watch on YouTube or see in galleries, etc, didn’t start out being awesome either.  They practiced and they had stuff that sucked too!
   • Walk away.  If I’m getting so down on myself for something that isn’t working out, I walk away from it for a while and do something that I’m better at so I can get some accomplishment points.

I’m certain I could come up with more barriers, but these are the three great themes that run through my life and I expect that one or all of these will hit home for you as well.

Wiping Away the Unfinished

I’m just giving myself permission to stop worrying about finishing the following creative things left undone:

• Journal 52 from 2015.  I chose way to large of a journal and found it overwhelming to fill the page each week.  I am starting afresh today and with a smaller journal.
• An abstract of the Manhattan Bridge.  It sucks and I can either paint over it or return to it when I learn how to carry out the techniques to make it work.  I’m done feeling bad about it sucking.

So, that was freeing.

Thinking Ahead

As a manager, my supervisor helped me realize this week that I hate my weekly team meetings because I’m all about the work and efficiency.  She essentially had to give me permission to take 15 minutes at the beginning to have fun and unwind, she suggested playing a couple of rounds of a quick game to get everyone in a good mood.

As a blogger, I anticipate that I carry those personality traits to some of my work here as well and want to use this platform to remind myself to have fun as well as help others who might struggle in this area.

This brings me to an aside that is super-important:  The one pervasive lesson about the work I do in behavioral health is that no matter your issue, your disease or your hang-ups, you are never alone.  There is always someone else just as crazy and neurotic as you are, they just might not talk about it as much!  That is the main reason I always suggest group therapy to my Clients and why I love the internet:  it has the power to remind you that you are not alone in whatever struggle you might have.

And rounding back to the point, this year I plan to add a piece on table top gaming, though I’m not sure if that will be weekly, bi-weekly or monthly, a section on the pen, ink and watercolor sketching, a section on my progress in photography and, of course, what started this stream of consciousness this morning, a weekly section on my Journal 52 projects.

Of course, I have two super-big and daunting goals this year:

• Learn how to make my own YouTube videos, which is terrifying but I hope a great addition to the content.  Eek!
• Learn how to make some of my own clothes!  I have no idea how I’m going to start this one, I’m so spatially challenged that I might want to make this journey part the aforementioned goal as it is bound to be hilarious!

I hope everyone has had a safe and happy holiday, but remember that if you are waking up with some shame or regret this morning, this will be the year you turn that around!  Don’t make a resolution, just make a change.